im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
