the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
