Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I have post one night stand depression
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
