haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
it hurts more in the daytime
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
PANTIES FOUND
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