i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
