i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
