I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Boobs are out for the taking
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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