the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
