I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We have started to decorate penises.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
