its not stalking. its research.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
