You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
