so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
