I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
