I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
