That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
