I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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