You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
it's like iHOP with fire
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
