whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
