Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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