So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
nutella sex= disaster
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
