I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
