so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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