Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
