the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
