My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
My life is pants optional.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
