LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I will be naked everywhere
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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