Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
