if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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