Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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