i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
