She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
