everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
