wat bout pragnant strippers??
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
