I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Is it penis luge time yet?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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