oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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