I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
