Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
