You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
