i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
