I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
