I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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