how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
