take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
