If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
