Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
