u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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