The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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