sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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