I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
