Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
