I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
