508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
