Someone shit on the floor
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
