On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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