He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
