I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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